It’s a Saturday night and yes I am working , I am always working …
Working on a new project, working on my art , working on my graphic design, working on my wellness coaching. working with clients, working …..
Can you tell I love it , lol ….
I looked at my calendar this morning and was like WOW we are 21 days into the NEW ” NOW ” YEAR , a New Term that was taught to me just a few months ago. Instead of waiting for a SPARKLY BALL and Date to CHANGE to decide what your future tomorrows will look like, start LIVING IN THE NOW YEAR.
Start living in right this very second, because you know what , sometimes there are no second chances. Sometimes the tomorrow you waiting for just doesn’t come. The time , the only time is NOW. Those moments that you spend living in regret :
Why didn’t I ?
I should have !
If only I ?
This only happens to me !
Things never go my way.
The thoughts we are keeping locked and tucked away within our hearts are a direct manifestation of our present life. And I say this to you because today I lived through my day of manifesting an unwanted situation.
Let me explain ….
For the last 18 years I have always been sick on my birthday , always , it was like clockwork.
My birthday falls in the winter and the cold and me , we just don’t get along. Being a severe asthma sufferer since I was a baby and also having an overprotective loving Colombian mama , that wanted to ward off all evil from me at all times and all costs , I honestly don’t remember ever not being sick on my beloved birthday.
My mother was always so fearful that something ” bad ” was going to happen to me, inadvertently causing anxiety in me that yeah , maybe if I did go outside I was gonna breathe in this nasty cold air and have this massive asthma attack and die. I mean , geez , asthmatics are notorious for dying of crazy causes like that , right ?
I was just so not aware of the damage she was doing to me at the time. I mean , as a mom , I get it , but also living through that , I do not want to give my children the anxiety of letting them think that something terrible is going to happen to them in the “real world . ”
So for all of my childhood, tween and teenage years , I lived overprotected , secluded and babied for the most part. And don’t get me wrong, I adored ( adore ) my mother , but I can see now in retrospect that it has caused me to endure some very deep embedded scars that I am working on moving away from.
Because AGAIN ,
The Thoughts WE KEEP are a Direct REFLECTION of Our Life Manifested.
So , let me fast forward to May 2016, I finally see my Pulmonologist , he says , lets start something NEW and get you on BREO and BREO Incruse , it’s been helping my other patients and you fall into this category.
Faithfully I say , duh , yeah , lets try it …. I have practically been on everything and every cocktail of medications to keep my lungs healthy and me out of the hospital …. So if this works …. AMEN !!!!
And GUESS WHAT , it did , I was hospital free for 8 months , a whole months of taking my BREO and continuing on my Nutrition , I was as Good as GOLD, Baybee !
Then it happened, December came and it was like a trickwire went off in my brain. Your birthday is coming , my 40th this year to be exact and it’s like an internal panic mode takes over.
I think maybe I set myself up for getting the pneumonia in Dec , and truly not listening to doctors orders because as always they wanted to admit me , but I was against it …. My hubs has to work, who is gonna take care of the kids, how am I gonna manage that , what am I going to do , all these extra worries I tacked onto my already existing condition , made everything even more monumental ….
I didn’t even give myself a minute to recoop, I just kept going …. I kept doing and being , without any CARE for myself, not caring if I took the 3 tabs instead of 4 , not caring if I slept or not , I was too worried about now I have gotten sick , oh shit it’s the cold weather , you can’t breathe in the cold weather … how are you gonna manage , how are you gonna get better, you only get better in the SPRING.
Isn’t it ahmazzzzing how many damn thoughts we keep holy moses it will make your head spin.
Is it me or maybe I am crazy …. ?
And the reason why I share this with you is because it SUCKS to live FEARFUL something is gonna happen to you.
I had my ENOUGH is ENOUGH Moment today.
Today I was supposed to be somewhere , but today I also woke up with a high fever and the flu that my 10 year old daughter ever so generously gave to both me, my husband and 6 year old daughter. I haven’t had a positive thought about my inner health , I have been tooo worried about getting and not getting sick and all the baggage that it comes with. That I believe I mentally set myself up for my own chaotic mess.
So , with this , today January 21st, 2017 I publicly PROMISE myself that I am going to do 3 Things :
1: Practice Loving ALL of Me Everyday
2: Start Reading Louise L. Hay
3: Start a Badass Accountability 90 Day Run of Positivity , Love and Light.
I am NO LONGER Going To ALLOW Anything or Anyone to DESTROY My Peace and Trample on My Dreams.
Your LIFE was GIVEN TO YOU AND ONLY YOU. God Blessed US All With Gifts and Talents That Only We Uniquely Possess and We Have To Honor That , We Have to Do Whatever It Takes To BRING our VISIONS To Life.
All of This Requires A Lot of Personal Development , and ALOT , by alot I mean you gotta immerse yourself in it.
There is nothing better than listening or reading :
Let Them WAKE YOU Up and RATTLE Your SOUL and FIND Your Life’s PURPOSE.
I found mine and I am NOT going to REPEAT the last few years all over again in this BEAUTIFUL NOW YEAR we have now !
21 Days Into 2017 , If Nothing Has CHANGED ,
It’s Time To START CHANGING !
I am READY.
I have arrived.
What Are You Gonna Do That is DIFFERENT , What Are You Gonna Do That CHANGES Your Life For The Better ?
I am going to use my Blog as my outlet to share my story as I write it.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for your love and support.
Just trying to keep it real 😀
Lots of Love,
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